Sunday, July 29, 2007


In reading all of my blogs, you are probably going to get way more info than what you needed to know but I'm also using this as a way to look back at memories of Brynn growing up. So, if you don't like it, don't read it!!

Last night was kind of a rough one (Saturday night)... we were up pretty late with Brynn. We've been having some problems burping her after she eats, she just falls asleep and won't burp or toot. We keep trying and trying and nothing works. Well, we were up with her until about 1:30 trying everything we could and finally we broke down and woke Grammie up. We didn't know what else to do! Grammie took Brynn and started singing to her and she was seriously asleep within about 15 minutes. What the heck are we going to do after she leaves on the 8th?!

This morning she FINALLY POOPED AND HAD A SUPER WET DIAPER!! (See, way more info than what you needed!) She was really calm today and has been in a good mood. Tonight, she has had two more "Hershey Squirt" diapers! YAY Brynn!

My days have been flying by since we went into the hospital on Tuesday. I love spending time with Chad and Brynn... Chad has to go back to work on Wednesday though, I am really bummed. I wish my mom's Powerball ticket would have had more than one good number on it last night, we'd be able to spend all of our time with Brynn!! ;o)

Tomorrow is her first real pediatrician appt, so I'll keep you posted.

Here are some pictures that we've taken since she's been born... in no particular order.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

She's here!!

She's here!!

July 24, 2007 (Right on time!!)
7lbs, 5oz (about 2oz of that is hair!)
20 1/4" long (when her hair isn't spiked!)

Chad's nicknames for her so far: "Baby Girl" and "My Little Burrito" (because she LOVES to be wrapped up like a burrito in her blankets!!)
My nicknames for her so far: "Baby Girl Brynn" and "Pretty Girl"

Here's a link to the Chandler Hospital... - click on the drop down menu at the top. Click on "A", then click on her name... Brynn Maye. There are two different pictures on there, she took 20 pictures but her hands kept going up in front of her face and she wouldn't look at the camera... so we asked her to take some more. One of them looks like she's going "WHAT?!" and the other looks like she's holding a phone or throwing up gang signs or something! ;o)

Our friend Amy was our delivery nurse!! She actually wasn't scheduled for Tuesday night but she came in anyway just to deliver Brynn!! By the time she got to the hospital, I was already 10cm!! She was AWESOME!! Chad and I were a lot more comfortable when she got there, I can't imagine doing it that night without her. Thank you Amy!!

My mom and Chad's mom were both in the room when I was going through labor, everything went well... without going into a lot of detail, we ended up doing a c-section because she was stuck and there's no way that she was going to come out!! Brynn and I are both recovering from it very well, with the help of her Daddy!! They are both AMAZING. Chad and I LOVE being parents and I don't think either one of us could imagine not having her. She's a BEAUTIFUL baby... I can't believe she's ours!! I'm a MOMMY NOW!!

I will post more pictures as I have time... I have to keep my feet propped up so they don't swell to the size of Brynn and I want to spend all of my time with her and Chad now. Don't worry, we're going picture crazy so there will be plenty to come but it may just take me a little while to get them posted!! We got home from the hospital yesterday afternoon and have been busy ever since!! I'm trying to use Windows Vista now and I don't know what the heck I'm doing yet so that's another reason why I'm so slow!

Last night was our first night home and it went better than I thought it would!! Unfortunately, I had a little bit of pizza for dinner last night and since I'm breastfeeding, it made Brynn's belly upset. She was really gassy and it took her a while to fall back asleep after one of her feedings. She's doing great now though!! Lesson learned... I really have to watch what I am eating now!! I'm drinking lots of water too.

Mel, Allie and Milo are all doing great with Brynn!! They were really excited to see me when I walked in the door yesterday... then they saw Brynn and forgot all about me! We avoided them for a little while so she didn't freak out and then while she was sleeping and wrapped up, we let them smell the back of her head and her blanket. By the end of the night, we had her unwrapped and they would come up and sit next to us and just watch her. They snuck in a few kisses here and there too. As of this morning, Mel has taken over the role of being Brynn's bodyguard. She's always right next to Brynn. This afternoon, our neighbors April and Nathan came over while we had her in the swing and Mel walked up and stood between the swing and Nathan, like she was protecting Brynn. Too cute!

My mom (Grammie) has been a HUGE help through all of this - while we were at the hospital, she cleaned the house!! I think it was her chocolate chip cookies that put me in to labor. ;o) Chad's mom (Granny) has also been great - she's staying with Chad's grandparents (GG-Ma and GG-Pa) until Monday, then she has to head back to California!! HOPEFULLY she'll be back in a few weeks!! They are sooo proud!! Brynn is the first Grand-Baby for both of them!! YAY!! Chad's sister Ana (Auntie Ana) flew out here today too!! She's so excited, she makes me laugh, she's so careful when she's handling Brynn... I think she's afraid she's going to drop her or something because she's so tiny!! She's going to be an awesome mom someday!!

Here are a few pictures... just make sure that you check out the Chandler Hospital site too!

It's not a very clear picture but you can see that she gets her sense of humor from both of us...

Her foot

Daddy wrapping Brynn up like a burrito for the first time!!

Mommy kissing Brynn

Her first view of outside

Closeup from last night

See? I told you she was BEAUTIFUL!! ;o)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I hope today's the day

Woke up atleast once an hour last night to go to the bathroom... can't breathe anymore because she's so big... getting cramps in my stomach like you wouldn't believe... it hurts to sit up... can't go back to sleep... today is Brynn's due date... I really hope today's the day.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Chad charging his PSP last night

(So that atleast HE can be entertained while we're waiting in the triage waiting area before I have Brynn...)

Didn't work either.

Neither did the chocolate chip cookies that my mom made this afternoon. (They made Brynn jump around like crazy in my belly though!) And now... I have heartburn. They ARE good though!! ;o)

Sleeping with a bunch of towels under the sheets just incase my water breaks in the middle of the night...

Didn't work either.

(Now THAT was a long subject!)

Sunday, July 22, 2007


Today has been kind of relaxing, we went and picked up the Pack and Play that Mom and Dad ordered for us... and I took pictures while Chad and Mom attempted to put it together for the first time!! ;o)

While we were at Babies-R-Us getting the Pack and Play, we ended up buying Brynn's first Halloween costume too!! You'll have to wait until October for pictures though!!

Just got done hanging out in the pool - the water was 96 degrees!!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Mall walking

Didn't work either.

The meatloaf

Didn't work.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Mom's here!!

This morning I got to sleep in a little bit and then I got ready to pick my mom up from the airport! She flew in from Ohio to spend some time with Chad and I and to help out after Brynn arrives... and with my luck, she'll be inside of my belly until 2008!!

Inside my mom's one suitcase, she managed to fit about 20 books from when I was little, along with a big photo album, a baby blanket and a bunch of memorobilia from when I was growing up. Needless to say, her suitcase was 66lbs and she had to pay an overweight fee!!

So far, mom has offered to cook everything and everything... and I can't fit that much in my belly anymore!! I'm telling you, there's no room in there. We stopped at a local sandwich place and met Chad for lunch after I picked her up. I haven't been to this place for a while and have been craving it. Normally, I could eat 1/2 of this sandwich plus some chips. Well today, I could only eat 1/4 of the sandwich and no chips. So, like I said... there's no more room left... and she just keeps growing!!

Tonight I'm making meatloaf and cheesy potatoes for dinner... then strawberries with angel food cake for desert! When we took the lamaze class last month the nurse that taught the class told us not to eat a big steak or anything with a lot of meat in it around our due dates because meat takes a long time for your system to digest and chances are, I'd end up throwing it up during labor, which means that Chad will too because he has such a sensitive stomach! So, do we want to take bets on tonight being the night that I'll go into labor JUST BECAUSE I'm eating meatloaf? I have been lucky enough to not get sick one time throughout this whole pregnancy but that would be my dumb luck.

Hmmm... maybe I'll try 2 tablespoons of that CASTOR OIL to clean myself out ahead of time!! Geesh.

P.S. Brenda - Chad was cracking up again at your comment that you put on that blog... He was laughing so hard it made me laugh, which caused my stomach to hurt!!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

A labor story...

No, not my labor story... A labor story.

I don't have any updates on Brynn, she still hasn't gone anywhere. She's not even moving around much, she doesn't have any room left. My belly hasn't grown any, even though she has and she's gotta be totally smooshed in there.

Anyway, my friend Heidi has a link to on her blog and I clicked on it one day. Ever since then, I've been addicted. I tend to read the really funny ones to Chad, like they're bedtime stories or something.

A little bit of background before you read below the ***'s... Heather, the blogger who has the site, is a mother who used to be mormon but is no longer practicing. She gets paid for blogging everyday because of the advertising that is on her site. How cool is that?! This story is about the birth of her daughter Leta (Leeeeeta) a few years ago. Jon is her husband and Chuck is their dog.

If you don't have 15 minutes to spare, read this when you do. And don't forget! I think it's totally worth it. (Especially my prego friends and the ones that already have kids. )

And you thought I was detailed in my blogs...

Oh, and no I didn't take the time to type all of this, I copied and pasted. ;o)

Friday, 30 January, 7:00 PM
For the 14 days prior to this evening I had tried every possible labor inducing technique documented in pregnant folklore to get this baby here including but not limited to:

1) Furious stair running (which in my nine months pregnant condition was more of a furious stair waddling involving alternating grunts and gasps for air)

2) Hour long run-walks with the dog

3) Praying (more like pleading or outright begging for mercy, at this point my bladder had stopped working entirely and I was peeing every 30 seconds)

4) Seducing my husband more frequently than should be legal for a swollen human incubator who has worn nothing but elastic-waist pajama bottoms in public for the last four months.

We hear about a local Italian restaurant that serves Pregnant Pizza, a specialty dish that has sent at least five pregnant women into labor according to a local newspaper. Of course, local newspapers in Utah do things like feature spreads on polygamy that read like glowing advertisements for the fanatical offshoots of the Mormon Church, but I’m desperate and I’m willing to try anything short of agreeing to let my daughter be married off at the age of 14 to a 60 year old dirty cock knocker who thinks he’s been ordained by God.

I order the Pregnant Pizza which really isn’t a pizza but a 144 square inch orgasm of garlic. For appetizers we order bagna cauda, a dish that contains over 100 cloves of roasted garlic. I eat half of it, Jon eats the other half. By the time we leave the restaurant I have consumed so much garlic that I have basically ensured that my baby will be pooping garlic for the first 13 years of her life.

Saturday, 31 January, 8:00 AM
Jon gives birth to his baby.

Saturday, 9:00 AM
I feel nothing. I haven’t farted or belched or felt any gastrointestinal movement, although it smells like a garlic bomb has been detonated in our bedroom.

Saturday, 1:00 PM
Chuck takes a poop in the backyard and it smells like garlic.

Sunday, 01 February, 6:00 PM
The Pregnant Pizza has effectively rendered me laborless and poopless. Consigned to the reality that I will never give birth to my garlic baby, we settle into the garlic haze of the bedroom to watch the Super Bowl. Perhaps it’s the garlic hangover or perhaps it’s because we’re reasonable adults, but we rewind the halftime boob malfunction only once. Jon asks with barely any interest, “Was that her boob?” and I say, “I think so.” I’ve got bigger boobs to worry about.

Sunday, 6:30 PM
I start feeling lower back pain in throbbing 60 second bursts. The pain is noticeable enough that Jon breaks out his watch and starts timing the intervals between bursts. One interval is eight minutes. The next interval is five minutes. Some are 15 minutes, but there is definitely a start and stop to the pain.

Sunday, 9:30 PM
I’ve been having three consecutive hours of random 60 second back pain. Jon has been diligently tracking each interval. We’re both quietly giddy. I suddenly come to the glorious realization that I need to poop! Pooping is glorious! I spend the next hour in the bathroom passing My Garlic Poop which leaves me with gigantic garlic hemorrhoids. The random 60 second back pain completely stops.

Sunday, 11:00 PM
Jon is still trying to reconcile the fact that he wasted three precious hours of his life timing poop labor.

Monday, 02 February, 9:00 AM
My doctor tells me that I am dilated to a three, meaning my cervix has opened to three centimeters, and that I’m in perfect condition to be induced. I don’t want to be induced, not with my garlic hemorrhoids, but he says that he’s going to be on vacation for most of the week and that I may go into labor when he isn’t in town. He looks at us and asks us if we’d like to do it today. Today? You mean, this day? The day that is this one? Like, TO-DAY?

Jon and I give each other a look that says Was there anything we wanted to get done before the birth of the baby? Aside from 1) A honeymoon to Paris and 2) Extensive experimentation with hard drugs, I can’t think of anything, so we both shout, “YES!” Normally we would have said “FUCK YES!” but my doctor is very Mormon and I don’t want to upset the man who will be holding sharp instruments near my vagina.

The doctor makes a call to the hospital and they say we should go home, pack a bag, take a shower, and wait for a call that should come by 11 AM, the earliest that they will have a free room.

Monday, 11:00 AM
We’re showered. We’re packed. We’ve called the family including my mother, The Avon World Sales Leader, who is canceling a flight to LA so that she can be here for the birth. We’re staring at the phone. The phone isn’t ringing.

Monday, 11:05 AM
Ring, damn phone! RING! Why won’t you ring?

Monday, 11:07 AM
I ask Jon to check and make sure the phone is working.

Monday, 11:08 AM
Jon assures me that the phone is working.

Monday, 11:09 AM
The phone isn’t ringing. I begin to hyperventilate.

Monday, 11:15 AM
The phone isn’t ringing. I begin to pace the floor.

Monday, 12:00 PM
I call the hospital to let them know that they are torturing me and that I may sue. They say that the woman who is giving birth in the room that they are going to give to me just needs to push the baby out. They say the room will definitely be ready in about four hours. FOUR HOURS? I DON‘T HAVE FOUR HOURS. WHO HAS FOUR HOURS?

Monday, 12:15 PM
We throw everything into the truck, including the dog, and head to Jon’s mother’s house where Chuck will be staying for the next five days. We make sure that we notice how cold it is outside, how cold and gray and dirty, so that when we tell Leta about the day she was born we can begin by saying, “It was a cold and gray and dirty day in February.” That just sounds like something a parent would say. We’re going to be parents!

Monday, 1:30 PM
HOLY SHIT WE‘RE GOING TO BE PARENTS. I begin to change my mind about the whole thing. I don’t want to give birth. I start to voice my concern out loud. Jon’s mother, a woman who has given birth six times, gives me a look that says I pretty much need to shut up. I shut up.

Monday, 2:00 PM
There’s that back pain again. I guess I’m going to need to go poop in about three hours.

Monday, 3:00 PM
I’m still having back pain. I convince Jon to call the hospital to check on our room even though it’s only been three hours. The hospital says that the room will definitely be ready by 4:30 and that in order to get the room we should be there at exactly 4:30. I suggest we leave immediately even though the hospital is only 15 minutes away. Jon is reluctant to indulge my irrational behavior, but we prepare to leave anyway. We give instructions to his mother concerning the dog: No potato chips. No raw meat. Make him work for treats.

Monday, 3:15 PM
We leave Jon’s mom’s house. Chuck receives his first potato chip.

Monday, 3:30 PM
Jon is driving slowly. We try to enjoy our last car ride as a childless couple. This is the last car ride of our old life. That sounds like a Richard Marx song: The Last Car Ride of Our Old Life. I feel like I’m going to throw up.

Monday, 4:00 PM
We arrive at the hospital and carry all of our luggage up to the fourth floor. I want to tell every single person I see that I am going to have a baby. I have to physically restrain myself from singing in the elevator.

Monday, 4:05 PM
The nurses sitting behind the desk in the labor and delivery area regret to inform us that they gave away our room TWO MINUTES AGO to a woman delivering triplets prematurely. TRIPLETS? WHATEVER, TRIPLETS. They can just go ahead and tell that triplet woman to step, bitch, because I am here to deliver my baby. Do you hear me? I AM HERE TO DELIVER MY BABY.

Monday, 4:07 PM
Despite Jon’s best efforts to comfort me I warn the nurses behind the desk that The Avon World Sales Leader has cancelled a flight to LA just so that she can be here when I deliver my baby, and that if they know what is best for them they will give me a room and not upset the Avon World Sales Leader.

Monday, 4:08 PM
Not wanting to upset the Avon World Sales Leader they tell me to go wait in the waiting room and that a room should definitely open up within the next hour.

Monday, 4:10 PM
We find the waiting room and it is filled with hundreds of little kids. Maybe not hundreds but it feels like hundreds with all the bratty screaming. Jon and I realize that we’ve made the huge mistake of trying to have this baby in Utah, the Baby Making Capital of America. It could possibly be the Baby Making Capital of the World, but there is probably a third world nation out there whose inhabitants have had no education on contraception, and that third world nation may have one or two more babies than Utah. We start to realize that we may never get a room.

Monday, 5:30 PM
Still no room, but my back pain has become really uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that I have to get up and walk around. My doctor has just delivered another woman’s baby and he visits us in the waiting room. He regrets to inform us that they have AGAIN given away our room to another woman and that we may have to go home and come back tomorrow. I nearly claw his eyes out.

I mention my back pain. He asks, “How far apart are the pains?” I say, “Close enough that I’m not going anywhere.”

Monday, 6:00 PM

Monday, 6:10 PM
I change into the dreaded hospital gown and I’m introduced to my nurse who is four feet tall and has a gray mustache covering her upper lip. I can’t stop staring at the mustache. It’s just so hairy. And thick. And mustachy. I wonder if Jon notices her mustache. How can he not notice her mustache? The nurse delivering my baby has a mustache!

Monday, 7:00 PM
I’ve spent the last hour giving Madame Mustache my entire oral history per hospital regulations. So many questions! None of their business! Just get this started already! GAHHH! She has a mustache!

Monday, 7:10 PM
Madame Mustache hooks me up to a contraction monitor and to the pitcocin drip, the hormone used to start contractions. We notice that even without any pitocin I am having contractions about seven minutes apart. We turn on the television to CNN Headline News, just to have some background noise. Hey! There’s Janet Jackson’s nipple!

Monday, 7:30 PM
I’ve been on the lowest dose of pitocin for about 20 minutes and my contractions are already three minutes apart and lasting 60 seconds each. These are contractions? These?? These here?? NO PROBLEM! I can TOTALLY handle this. This is easy! They are uncomfortable, yes, but to someone who has been constipated her whole life THESE ARE NOTHING! Contractions, Shmontractions! Hey! There’s Janet Jackson’s nipple, again!

Monday, 8:00 PM
I’m dilated to a four. My mother, my sister, and my step-father show up. My mother, The Avon World Sales Leader, is dressed in her best business attire. She looks like she has shown up to fire Donald Trump. There is my bare vagina on the hospital bed and my mother is perfectly pressed. I hope her suit has been scotch-guarded.

We all watch Janet Jackson’s nipple, again.

Monday, 9:00 PM
I’m dilated to a five. The contractions are becoming a little more intense but they are still manageable. Jon’s sister who happens to be a labor and delivery nurse at another hospital shows up. Madame Mustache informs us that her shift has ended and that another nurse will be taking care of us. What? No more mustache?? But I wanted my baby to be delivered by The Mustache! Come back, Mustache!!!

Monday, 9:30 PM
New nurse arrives and she doesn’t have a mustache. In fact, she’s perfectly harmless and boring. Nurses should be required to have a mustache.

Monday, 9:45 PM
Jon’s sister is showing Jon how to help me breathe. The contractions are intense enough now that I really need his help.

Hew, hew, hew, hew heeeeeeeee.
Hew, hew, hew, hew heeeeeeeee.
Hew, hew, hew, hew heeeeeeeee.

Jon is wonderful. He is right beside me holding my hand. We can’t believe how easy this is! Bring on the baby!

Oh, hey everybody, there’s Janet Jackson’s nipple, again!

Monday, 10:00 PM
Did you hear that?
What that?
That popping sound.
What popping sound?
You didn’t hear that pop?
What pop?
That pop! I felt it in the back oh my mouth.
I didn’t hear any pop.

Monday, 10:02 PM
My water gushes all over the hospital bed.

Monday, 10:03 PM
Oh … THAT pop.

Monday, 10:04 PM
I run to the bathroom so that the mustacheless nurse can clean up the bed. While I am in the bathroom I have my first contraction post-water breaking and it is curiously unlike all the pre-water breaking contractions. And when I say curiously unlike I mean REALLY FUCKING AWFUL.

Monday, 10:06 PM
I return to the hospital bed and I tell Jon that the pain is getting a lot worse. In the middle of my sentence another contraction hits and I almost bite my tongue off.

Monday, 10:15 PM
THIS IS AWFUL. Contractions that were three minutes apart and lasting only 60 seconds are all of a sudden 10 seconds apart and lasting 90 seconds. The nurse realizes that the combination of the pitocin and my water breaking has thrown my body into a transitional state — what is supposed to happen when I’m dilated between eight and ten centimeters — even though I’m only dilated to a six. I start to shake violently and I’ve got the chills. I can barely see straight. The nurse turns the pitocin off.

And there’s Janet Jackson’s nipple, my constant companion.

Monday, 10:25 PM
I am on the verge of vomiting all over the bed. The pain can’t possibly get worse than this. During one of the 10 second breaks I ask all the women in the room, “Does it get worse than this?” They all look at each other silently. No one will answer me.

It’s going to get worse? It can’t possibly get worse. Worse than this is dead. There can’t possibly be a worse pain in the world. It feels like someone is trying to twist the top half of my body off my lower half, like I’m a plastic Coke bottle.

Monday, 10:30 PM
I’m going to die. This is going to kill me. Jon is trying to help me breathe, but my body’s pain coping mechanism is forcing me to hold my breath. I’m only getting 10 seconds of a break between contractions and I’m not getting enough air.


Monday, 10:35 PM
I’m officially writhing. There is actual writhing going on. Unabashed writhing.

Monday, 10:40 PM
Jon is forcing me to look into his eyes and breathe:

Hew, hew, hew, hew heeeeeeeee.
Hew, hew, hew, hew heeeeeeeee.
Hew, hew, hew, hew GET ME THE EPIDURAL!

Monday, 10:45 PM
The anesthesiologist shows up. Now that’s service!

Somehow in my awful, writhing state I notice that he is wall-eyed. His left eye is looking at Jon, his right eye is looking at me. It only confuses me more. I have to tell him that I understand what he is going to do and all I can think about is how brutal his childhood must have been, having those wall eyes and all. Children are cruel. I know, I’m about to have one.

Monday, 10:50 PM
I sign the epidural release form. He turns me on my side so that he can stick the needle in my back. I realize that one of his eyes his looking at my back, the other one is probably looking at the ceiling.

I’m in the middle of a contraction that is about to crush my body. Jon is holding both my hands and looking me straight in the eyes. You can get through this, he assures me. I have to hold still so that the anesthesiologist can stick the needle in the right place. Holding still is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Monday, 10:52 PM
I feel a small prick in my back and my leg flexes involuntarily. The anesthesiologist says that he’s done. I don’t believe him. He can’t possibly be done. It’s supposed to hurt and I’m supposed to freak out about the needle! He’s done?!


Monday, 11:00 PM
The epidural has taken effect. It is the best feeling in the whole wide world. I want to smoke a joint. I start to sing. My mother and sister start laughing. I ask Jon if we can name the baby Epidural Armstrong.

I am so happy!

Monday, 11:30 PM
Did I mention how happy I am? They should sell epidurals on the street. I would buy a hundred of them and give them to my friends.

Tuesday, 03 February 12:00 AM
Still happy! Everyone is talking and laughing and joking. I decide to tell my mother that I want to name the baby Leta after her sister who died in infancy. My mother cries a half set of tears. A full set of tears would be unprofessional. It feels good to finally reveal the name. It also feels good to not feel any contractions.

I love you, epidural!

Tuesday, 1:00 AM
I’m dilated to a nine and I feel no pain. At this point we have seen the replay of Janet Jackson’s nipple over 400 times. We need more nipple.

Tuesday, 2:30 AM
I’m dilated to a ten and it’s time to start pushing. I don’t feel like pushing but they assure me that it’s time.

Jon stands on my right side, his sister stands on my left side. They hold my knees to my chest and the nurse tells me to take a deep breath and push.

Push where?
Just push.
How do I push?

Tuesday, 2:35 AM
I think I’m pushing. I don’t know if I’m pushing. It doesn’t feel like pushing. It just feels like I’m holding my breath. Jon’s sister and the nurse exchange a silent glance that says This is going to take a while. I want to tell them that there is no way that this “pushing” thing is going to get this baby here. This pushing thing is stupid. There has to be a better way.

Tuesday, 3:00 AM
Still pushing. I’m pushing in three 30 second bursts every two minutes. Pushing is more tiring than any of the workouts I did during pregnancy. Pushing is hard. I look into Jon’s eyes each time I push and notice that he is unconsciously pushing with me. He is beginning to get light headed.

Tuesday, 3:15 AM
Jon almost passes out from pushing so hard. I warn him, “IF YOU WANT TO LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW, DON‘T YOU DARE PASS OUT.”

Tuesday, 3:20 AM
Still pushing. My mom and my sister shriek simultaneously. They can see the baby’s head. Apparently the baby has hair! The nurse asks me if I want the overhead mirror to see what is going on. FUCK NO, I DON‘T WANT TO SEE WHAT IS GOING ON. ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY?

Tuesday, 3:30 AM
My doctor arrives and he is very groggy. He wasn’t expecting my labor to go so quickly. He stands at the end of the hospital bed to assess my progress and I can see the reflection of the carnage of my vagina in his glasses. HORROR!

Tuesday, 3:40 AM
I want to ask my doctor to take off his glasses so that I don’t have to be confronted with my own reflection, but at this point the baby’s head is crowning and I can feel my body stretching around her skull. Why can I feel this? This feeling is WEIRD.

Tuesday, 3:45 AM

Tuesday, 3:50 AM
The doctor says something to the nurse at this point, something about how he thought he wasn’t going to have to, but now he is gonna, and he reaches for something, and Jon whips his head around to look at me, and then I feel a snip and a release of pressure. Thank God I didn’t agree to the overhead mirror.

Tuesday, 3:55 AM
The doctor makes a second snip. I feel everything. The burning has subsided, but I can still feel the contour of the baby’s head. I cannot describe this feeling as anything but weird. My mom and my sister are literally jumping up and down at this point, both are mumbling nonsense about SO MUCH HAIR.

Tuesday, 3:58 AM
I feel the baby’s head exit my vagina, and then I feel her shoulders. OH MY GOD THIS IS WEIRD. She is twisting as she is coming out and I can feel everything. I feel her arms. Then her belly. Then her legs.

Tuesday, 3:59 AM
My mother the Avon World Sales Leader is officially screaming at this point. My sister is crying. Jon is more lovely than I have ever seen him in my life. The doctor drops this thing on my stomach, and HOLY SHIT! IT’S A BABY! I honestly didn’t know what he was going to pull out of me, perhaps an abandoned tire iron, or maybe a bag of potatoes? I feel so much relief that it’s human.

Tuesday, 4:00 AM
Jon cuts the cord. The baby is whimpering. She is rather quiet. They wipe her down and place her immediately on my chest. Her right arm is stretched out toward me. We look at each other directly. Jon leans down, places his left hand on my head, his right hand on the baby’s back. This is the most defining moment of my life.

We’ve made a family.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Doctor's appt and hospital tour

Well, this morning wasn't too exciting, I did some laundry, got the house cleaned up a little and then headed to the doctor's office to meet Chad for my weekly checkup.

Luckily, I haven't gained anything from last week, it said that I actually lost a pound... Chad says that it's from that CASTOR OIL that I tried yesterday since it cleaned me out so good. (If you haven't read that blog yet, you need to.) I am still only at one cm... but the doctor stripped my membranes. IT HURT! Sometimes this helps to speed things up, sometimes it doesn't. Since nothing else has worked, hopefully this will!!

Tonight, our friend Amy who is a delivery nurse (she's also one of my pseudo sisters) graciously took Chad and I on a tour of the hospital that we're delivering at!! I'm hoping she'll be scheduled to work when we deliver... but that means that we'll have to deliver in the middle of the night!! She told us that she's heard people say all sorts of things while they were in labor and some people get pretty nasty. I told her I might be kind of nasty... especially since the "F" word has been my word of choice lately. I told her not to take it personally and if she wanted, she could say it right back to me and that actually I would probably prefer her to, then I wouldn't feel so bad (yes, I'm serious Amy - hopefully it will add a little humor to the situation!!). I bet I'm one of the only ones that she's heard that from before!! Chad said "Hey, as long as Amanda's saying it to you and not to me, I'm ok with it!!"

During the tour, she took us into one of the rooms and she showed us some of the equipment that they may need to use when we deliver... along with one of the beds. I didn't know that a bed could do so many things! She also made sure that she showed Chad where the room is that he has to go to get me ice chips. That, along with him knowing where they keep the washcloths that will help to keep me cool were priority. We got to see the nursery and she told us Chad will be the only one that will be allowed to go in there because he gets to wear an ID wrist band. We're hoping to be in one of the rooms that she showed us. That would be the delivery room unless we had to do a c-section... then we get to go to another room. That's when it gets all complicated on where to go and what Chad gets to do.

It was a pretty cool tour because she was able to explain a lot of stuff to us that I didn't have a clue about before. I think I'm definately more nervous than I was before though, just because it's so close to delivery and I know I'm going to be checking in soon as Amanda West, prego girl... and checking out as Amanda West, A MOM.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Oil... for the car and to drink.

I am cracking up as I am typing this and I was really debating whether or not I should blog about it. This just goes to show you how big of a dumbass you (ok, well, me anyway) become when you are pregnant.

So, as we all know, I've been ready (along with Chad!) for Brynn to make her appearance for quite some time now. (Even though we know that Brynn hasn't been ready, like I've said before in most of my other blogs, I don't have much patience...)

Anyway, back to my story...

Over the last two weeks, quite a few guys have told me that their wives have taken a tablespoon of Castrol oil and that put them into labor... A few women have told me the same thing too. Someone even recommended it to us when we were at the car show on Saturday! So today, Chad and I were talking about it while he was on his lunchbreak, he called to see how I was doing. I told him that I thought we should try it and we were cracking up because he said that he thought we had some in the garage... but I told him that I wanted some "fresh stuff", not the 200 degree stuff that we had out in the garage!! (Yes, I am still cracking up as I type this...)

So after we got off the phone, Chad told one of the guys that he works with that he was going to pick up some Castrol oil after work so that I could take a tablespoon full and hopefully it would put me into labor! Dennis started cracking up and Chad this was the rest of their conversation:

Chad: "What?! Everyone has told us that it works!"

Dennis: "It's not CASTROL oil, it's CASTOR oil" (but when he said it, it still sounded like Castrol... )

Chad: "Yeah, that's what I said!"

Dennis: "CAST-ER OIL"

Chad: "Ohhhh.... I'd better call Amanda to let her know!"

I had a voicemail from Chad explaining the difference... so I went to Walgreen's website to see what exactly this stuff was... Chad picked some up on his way home.

CASTOR OIL (read the fine print, "Stimulant laxative, for the relief of occasional constipation"):

Chad found a bottle of CASTROL OIL in the garage, this is what you are NOT supposed to drink.

I hope that story made you laugh, there's no way that I could have made that one up!! I told Brenda about it earlier today and she said "DO NOT GO TO CHECKER'S, GO TO WALGREENS!"

So, with this CASTRO OIL, along with all of the water that I am drinking, I have been in the bathroom A LOT tonight. (Including the two times that I went while typing this blog!)

Here's a prego picture that Chad took today... I'm exactly 39 weeks today, her due date is a week from today!

Monday, July 16, 2007

What a Monday...

Over the last few days I've been having some pretty bad headaches, I've been crampy and my back has been killing me. I called the triage (sp?) nurse at the doctor's office today to see if these things were all normal when you're pregnant or if we should be concerned and go in and meet with one of the doctors.

She told me that we should go to the hospital because it sounded like I was in labor, because all of these things are signs of labor. I told her I didn't think it was that bad and I asked her if she thought I should come in to the office instead of the hospital. She had said that she was concerned about my blood pressure and that at one of my visits, it seemed a little high. (Even though the doctors and nurses had always told us that it was normal...) But whatever, they know what they're talking about, right? So, I called Chad and he left work (which he didn't mind, of course!) and shortly after he got home, we went to the hospital.

WE WAITED IN TRIAGE FOR 4 HOURS and then finally got called. It turns out that DEHYDRATION and EATING CRAPPY for the last few days can also lead to all of these symptoms. If the freaking triage nurse at the doctors office would have told me this or asked what I've had to eat, then we could have gotten all of this straightened out over the phone in about two minutes instead of the 5 1/2 hours that we were at the hospital for plus getting stuck on the freeway during rush hour on the way home. The nurse at the hospital also told us that Brynn and my blood pressure were great... and that if my contractions are strong enough that I can't talk or walk through them, then I'm in labor. THAT would have been nice to know too.

So, tonight I am drinking a bunch of water and we had salads for dinner. I bought some glazed donuts this morning at the grocery store and now Chad gets to take them to work with him tomorrow. Nice. Hmph.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Papa West and his projects!!

Just thought I'd share some cute pictures that I took today.

Putting together the swing...

and the bouncy seat...

Mel and Allie trying to figure out what's going on. I think they might be a little jealous when Brynn arrives!!

Here are some pictures of her ladybug room. Chad did an AWESOME job on it!! If you are at her doorway, these go from left to right around the room. The dresser and the black Brynn sign are on the wall to the left.

We did a little bit of walking at the mall today... then went to the Carter's store. Holy cow they have some cute clothes.

I'm going to try to post a blog everyday... if you don't see one... chances are we're at the hospital and I'll post BABY BRYNN pictures ASAP!!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

No baby yet...

Even though my massage and my pedicure were WONDERFUL (!) today, neither of them put me in to labor!!

Went to a car show at the local K-Mart tonight, that was pretty cool but it was HOT.

Brynn's been moving around all day today... a lot more than normal. Maybe this is the start of something? We'll see!!

Friday, July 13, 2007

No power?!

Let me just remind you that we have a bun in the oven... AND I AM THE OVEN.


Tonight, Chad is at a VW car show at a local Sonic Drive-In. It's just me, the dogs, the cat (who thinks he's a dog) and Spike, the bearded dragon. At a little before 8:00 tonight, the power went out. I was like oh crap, the breaker tripped and I have to figure out how the freak to reset it... I don't want to call Babe because I don't want to be that one nagging wife who calls her husband 85 times while he's out for his one guys night that he was really looking forward to... I don't want to be that wife that they talk about...

So, after a few minutes of trying to find a lighter (using the light from my cell phone) so that I could light the TWO candles that we have, I looked out the window and saw some of my neighbors walking around outside so I was like whew... I won't call him. It's not just us. So then, I call SRP (electric company) and have a "hold time" of 18 minutes, according to their recording. So, 25 minutes and 31 seconds later (according to my cell phone timer), I finally talk to a girl and she tells me that they are HOPING to have the power back on by 10:00 tonight, she wasn't sure what happened but normally around that time if the power goes out, someone has hit one of their lines. Not cool. So, about 5 minutes after that, I had to call Chad. I was bored and hot and sweaty. I had to tell him that it effing sucks when your power goes out when you are 9 months pregnant, you are bored, and hot and sweaty. I needed to vent. I think Chad has magical powers that calm me down.

I got off the phone with him and I shit you not, 5 minutes later, the power was back on. Whew. I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE MY AIR CONDITIONER. AND MY CEILING FANS. AND MY REGULAR FANS. ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM 9 MONTHS PREGNANT!! Too bad none of them work when the power goes out!! ;o)

P.S. Yes, if you add up all of those minutes, the power was only out for about a 1/2 hour. I know, I'm a wuss.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

38 weeks and 1 day

Today they had a shower for Brynn at work, here are a few pictures... and NOPE, Brenda still didn't get any full-on belly pictures!! (Sorry Mom, I didn't think about it...)

Here's her first pair of Nike's!!

And here's a cute ladybug toy that lights up...
We also had another dr appt today, we have a little bit more progress... I'm 50% effaced and 1cm dialated. With some of the things that I told her were going on, like me sleeping horribly for the last three nights and me feeling awful last night and today, she said that could be a sign that I'll be delivering sooner than later. YAY! I hope so. The next appt is on the 18th and she said that if I wasn't progressing a whole lot at that appointment, they were going to "strip my membranes" (I won't go into detail on what that is...) and hopefully that will help speed things up.

HOWEVER, I'm hoping that my massage and the pedicure that I'm wanting to squeeze in on Saturday will help speed things up as well and hopefully we won't even make it to that next appointment. ;o)

Our friend Amy (one of my Pseudo sisters!) is a delivery nurse at the hospital that we're having Brynn at, and she's going to take us on a quick tour of the hospital/maternity ward on the 18th as well!! (Like I said before though, HOPEFULLY we won't make it that long!!)

Other than me having pregnancy head, heartburn, and an attitude that have been about a million times worse than normal (and you didn't think the attitude could get any worse!!) I'm doing ok!!

P.S. Chad's been hanging out in the garage working on the Bug a whole lot more than normal too... I'm catching on...

Saturday, July 7, 2007

My birthday - 07/07/07

I had a nice birthday today!! It consisted of:

* Chad and I going to meet with a pediatrician... who we LOVED!! The office was all nice and clean... it has a sick entrance, a well entrance and another entrance for kids who had things that were contageous... so they get their own little area. The doctor that we met with reminded us of a guy that I used to work with at Waxie, he had the same manorisms and everything. This place kind of reminded me of home... laid back and family oriented. I've had the same doctor since I was little, Chad even met him when we went back to Ohio for Christmas in 2005. This seemed like the same kind of place. This place was top notch compared to the first one we checked out. Thanks for the referral Teresa!!

* Went to The Good Egg for brunch

* Brenda and Tim came over and brought me a balloon and flowers... Tim got to check out the nursery for the first time!! (Yes, I know I need to post some pictures... I will do that soon...)

* Chad and I went to Casino Arizona to try our luck, which we didn't have any of. We got there and it was PACKED. None of the machines were open and it reaked of cigarette smoke so we left after walking around for a while. It makes you realize how lucky you are to live in a city where all of the buildings are non-smoking. We ended up going to Fort McDowell instead. There weren't as many people there and it didn't reak quite as bad as Casino Arizona... we didn't win anything though. Oh well, we tried!! Chad bought me five Powerball tickets for tonight too, so maybe my luck will turn around... (You will definately all be receiving phone calls if that happens... not just a blog!!)

* Went to Native New Yorker for dinner, which was pretty good. (Now we can't eat out for a while!!)

* My parents got me a gift certificate for the place that I've been getting pedicures at so that will be on the agenda for next weekend, along with my massage from Jenn! I think the 14th will be a good day!! Woo hoo!!

I am now relaxing and putting my feet up. They are completely swollen and hurt like you wouldn't believe. I'm not doing anything for the rest of the night. Sounds like an awesome plan to me!!

I definately had a WAY BETTER birthday than I had last year. Thanks Babe!! (And everyone else who remembered!!)

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Hair and other things.

My hair has been driving me nuts lately. So, since we're trying to save some money, I decided to cancel my hair appointment with the salon that I really like and just go to one of those cheapy places to get it done. My parents own a hair salon in Ohio and my mom and dad have always told me not to go to one of those cheapy places. I can see why... the lady who did my hair was a total nut job. She had purple-ish pink-ish hair and lost her train of thought while giving her 20 year old boss her order from Subway. That should have been my first clue. She asked what I wanted done with my long layer and I told her I wanted an inch cut off the longest layer and the rest of it, just trimmed. So, what did she do? SHE TOOK AN INCH OFF ALL OVER. I'm sure to a lot of you that are reading this, that doesn't seem like a big deal. Now if you're my mom, dad, or Bri, and you're reading this you are probably cracking up. I've always been picky about what I want done to my hair... right guys? I wasn't a happy camper when I saw so much hair falling onto the floor. To top it all off, she didn't even dry it, she just cut it and that was it. I didn't know how these places really worked. So, since it's a million degrees outside, it was basically dry by the time I got home. Well, I re-wet it and styled it myself and it ended up turning out ok. Chad says "It's cute, I like it Babe". I asked him if he was telling me the truth or not, he says he is. ;o) All I know is that my parents need to hurry up and move closer to us so I don't have to deal with purple-ish pink-ish color hair nut job ladies anymore.

We had another doctor's appointment this afternoon and there aren't really any updates... I'm still 50% effaced with no dialation. Hmph. Next appt is on the 11th.

We got a new camera!! (That's one of the reasons that I ended up at the cheapy hair place.) So, here's an updated prego picture with my haircut that you can't see very well BECAUSE NUT JOB LADY CUT SO MUCH OFF!!

OH. Just so you know, my friend Jenn is AWESOME! For my birthday, she got me a gift certificate for a maternity massage (even though it says that it's from her sons Matt and Luke!). I can't wait to use it!! I made the appt for the 14th (the day we're hoping that I deliver) because I won't have time go make it over there until then!! YAY!!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Please write my order down.

I was going to wait until tomorrow to post about this but Chad thinks it's hilarious and thought I should post it tonight.

I have ZERO patience for servers who don't write my order down. After SEVERAL experiences at restaurants with servers not writing down what I order, if they ask what we would like to order and they don't have a pen and paper handy, I ask them to write it down. They ALL tell me that they have never messed up an order. My response is "my orders always get screwed up, even if the server tells me that". If they're a smart-ass and don't want a good tip, then they say "have I been your server before?" I tell them that it doesn't matter and I ask them to write it down anyway. There have been a few occasions where even those meals have been messed up. I know I'm a picky eater, there's never anything simple about my order. Or Chad's. For example, if a piece of tomato ends up in Chad's mouth and he realizes it, he's likely to puke. Seriously. I'm not joking. So, when we ask for no tomatos, we mean it.

And now on to the reason I'm writing this blog...

There's an Applebees that's about a mile and a half away from our house and there's a server there named Orlando who is awesome. We've had him as our server several times before and he always does a great job. A long time ago, I asked him to write our order down (probably the first time that we had him) and he's done it ever since then so I never thought about it again. He's always on the ball. Tonight, he came over to our table, greeted us and took our order... writing everything down, without me asking. He got the order perfect. While we were eating, Chad started kind of laughing to himself and I was out of the loop. He had watched our server go over to another table, greet the guy, take his order and not write anything down. We noticed that he did this to two other tables after that, but not us. Hmph.

So, I pretty much came to the conclusion that I'm one of those types of people that you will always remember. Do you know the other name for this type of person? A b*tch.

I don't think that's a good thing.

Cameras and baby stuff

First off... Happy 4th of July!! It's supposed to be around 117 (YES, YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY - APPROXIMATELY 117 DEGREES!) today... we have no plans other than to lounge around. I'm off work tomorrow too, YAY! We have a dr appt in the afternoon, so I'm sure I'll post another blog then. In the meantime, here's an update on us.

Both of our cameras are broken. Hmph. What kind of timing is this?! Brynn is due IN LESS THAN THREE WEEKS (!) and we don't have a digital camera!! That means... no more prego pics until we get a new one. That's ok... just picture me... with a bigger belly. It's HUGE!

I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions lately. I just started having them a few weeks ago, I thought that it was Brynn just stretching and moving her butt around a lot but they were really the Braxton Hicks because now they're happening a lot more often and it's my whole belly that keeps tightening up, not just where her little behind is.

Other than that, I've been ok. Just REALLY uncomfortable.

I think (and hope!) that I'll go early... We're hoping for the 14th. That would be awesome because it would be a combination of my birthday (7/7) and Chad's birthday (8/14). Chances are, it won't happen... but it would be cool if it did!!

That's all for now...

Monday, July 2, 2007

Speedy McSpeederson

Yep, that's me.

This morning I got pulled over for speeding... 82 in a 65! I knew I was going fast but I wasn't paying attention to how fast I was going.

LUCKILY, Mr. Nice DPS man saw that I had the baby seat in the back of the car (Chad JUST put it in there last night!)... and he told me that he'd let me slide because he knows that diapers and wipes are expensive and because my birthday is in 5 days! WHAT KIND OF LUCK IS THIS?! I'VE NEVER gotten out of a ticket before... thank goodness I was prego, that would have been an expensive ticket!! ;o) I still can't believe it. What a Monday.

Oh and yes, we decided that it would probably be better if we just put the baby seat in the Honda... it will probably be easier for me to get in and out of after I deliver.

P.S. We had Olive Garden for dinner... IT WAS AWESOME!! I ate too much and now it hurts to breathe though. Oh well. TOTALLY worth it. Right babe? ;o)